El.Em.ents of Joy

Happy National Adoption Day

2010-11-20T21:01:00.001-08:00

Happy National Adoption Day!!! I wish I had something more profound to post, but sadly, this mama is much, much too tired!

All the Makings of a Good Hockey Fight

2010-11-06T20:24:00.000-07:00

My husband and I got free tickets to a hockey game last night. We love going to hockey games! Since Veterans Day is coming up, the team celebrated veterans at the game. During the game, the faces of veterans in attendance were flashed on the Jumbotron. At one point, they showed 3 older vets sitting together - 2 white men and a very dark-skinned black man who was sporting some of the most beautiful dreadlocks I have ever seen. The image made me smile. I mean, what wasn't there to like? They were veterans, they appeared to be friends, they were different races of people who shared a common history and they were smiling and clearly having a good time together. My happiness over the scene was short lived. It was completely shattered by some a$$hole behind me that said to his buddy, "I don't even know what the f*ck that is!". "That" meaning the black man on the screen. It was the most horrible feeling. It felt like someone had let all the air out of my lungs. I was stunned and I was furious and I was hurt. And sad. So, so sad. My husband didn't hear the comment, but when I repeated it to him, he knew immediately what the "that" was referring to. He loudly said, "Oh, that's nice!" with more than a little hint of sarcasm but I doubt the person behind us even made the connection. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and I literally bit my thumb to try and stop the tears from falling. It was useless. I was so upset that I started to cry right there in the middle of the arena. I wanted to turn around and tell the guy off. I wanted to say to him, "'That' is a human being! He's also a veteran who was willing to give his life so you could be free to sit here and make a sickening comment like that." I wanted to pull out a picture of my kids and tell him to watch his mouth - that just because he was sitting by white people he shouldn't assume his comment wouldn't affect anyone. But it shouldn't matter that my kids are black. It was wrong from him to say regardless of who heard it. I wanted to punch him in the face. Over 24 hours later I am still beating myself up for not saying something to him. It didn't have to be anything big, but just something to let him know that what he said was wrong. I know that with someone like that, it probably wouldn't have made a difference, but it would have made me feel better knowing that I did something. I feel like I failed my kids. Has this ever happened to you?!?!

It's All About the Hair

2010-11-02T19:14:00.000-07:00

I just stumbled upon this blog and immediately fell head-over-heels in love with this quote. It made me tear up. I love it!

Hair is not vanity. it is care,

it is love and it says I want to present you well to the world.

Not because I want their lauds or their focus to be on your outward appearance.

But because to them it says: This child is chosen,
she is loved, time is taken for her, her mother thinks she is beautiful.

and if that lets you walk a little taller under my wing, I will do it, every day.

2010-10-30T22:20:00.000-07:00

Welcome to our new family blog. I have decided to go public with our blog. Why? I feel like I can reach many more people with our blog if it's made public. It seemed that no one was reading our other blog so my target audience (adoptive and potential-adoptive parents) was totally being missed. There are things I'd like to talk about, vent about, and am looking for feedback on and I just can't do that with a private friends and family-only blog. To remain anonymous, my children will be referred to by nicknames only - El & Em. I will probably include pictures from time to time, but will try to keep our identities anonymous if at all possible. (Is that even possible in today's world?) The title of the blog incorporates their nicknames in a way that I feel describes my children so well - they truly are elements of joy in our lives!

I'm sure I will be discussing some pretty heavy topics here since we are a transracial adoptive family. Adoption and race as well as racism will be talked about a LOT. I will be talking about things from my real life - offensive things that friends, co-workers, and even relatives sometimes say. If you don't want to be the topic of a blog post, don't say something to offend me or my family! :) Anonymous comments will not be allowed and all comments will be screened before they are posted. If you make a comment that is rude, inappropriate, or offensive, it will not be posted.